Friday, January 28, 2011

Planning and a crossroad

If you like super upbeat posts that sugar coat life, you might want to wait for another day to read this blog. If you like the nitty, gritty realness of life, keep reading. This week has been a rough one. I know a couple of reasons why, in retrospect, but I am not sure this explains all of it. So this post may be a lot of have been warned. ;)

I didn't plan for anything this week. I am a planner by nature. It is part of who I am and I even have a degree in planning, for goodness sake! For some unknown reason, I didn't plan for this week. No meal plan and no activity plan. It didn't work. Wanna know why??? That's right!! Because I am a planner! So I am getting a jump start on that for next week. Here is my meal plan:
Friday: make your own pizzas
Saturday: Pork tenderloin, Mac n cheese, roasted veggies, dessert pizza
Sunday: brown bag with small group
Monday: Kami's choice
Tuesday: Taylor's choice---Mexican casserole
Wednesday: sandwiches
Thursday: Tim's choice
Friday: Italian chicken strips
Saturday: out
Sunday: Superbowl party with small group

I am really trying to figure out where to fit exercise and Bible reading into my day. I need a set time every day to do the we things, but I just don't know when that is going to be. I think I am going to have to get up early in the morning and go to bed earlier because even though I might stay up late, my brain shuts down about 9:30. So even though I despise mornings with an unrivaled passion, to be the kind of person I want to be, I think me and early mornings are going to have to become friends.

I think something else that might help make my week go smoother is getting all of Kami's clothes picked out for the entire week on laundry day. (which is Monday, btw) I think Making a daily list of everything that needs to be accomplished this next week will be helpful, too. Have I mentioned that I am a planner??

Today: dog groomed, blog, haircuts, CAbi preview party
----yes, I did put things on my list that I have already accomplished so that I could mark them off. I like to see the things that I have done for the day. ;)
Saturday: Taylor's make-up gymnastics, Take kids to Slaton, work on entering clothes for Cradles to Crayons, work on Bible class material
Sunday: Bible class, NAP, small group
Monday: laundry, bows, pick Kami up, work on reading with K, pack lunches
Tuesday: take kids to school, grocery store, drug stores, pick kids up, take K to dance, intro class
Wednesday: finish up laundry, Taylor to gymnastics, make Mexican casserole for Thursday, pick up K, get ready for dance, take K to dance, get kids bathed and fed, Bible class, pack lunches
Thursday: take kids to school, meet friends, meet with small business association people, pick up kids, counseling class
Friday: enter clothes for c2c, bows
Saturday: CHILL OUT, tidy the house for superbowl party

So the planning issue is one of the problems of the week, but not the only one, for sure. I have come to a major crossroad in my life and I am very confused and not just a little scared about what to do next. I started sitting in on classes at TTU this semester and that takes me away from home on Tuesday and Thursday nights. As I was sitting in class last night, I had the "What am I doing here?" thought. I almost just got up in the middle of class and left, but that would have been very rude to the professor who is a friend of mine, and I probably would never have gone back if I did leave. I wasn't quite ready to burn that bridge. But I'm not sure I am ready to cross it, either. I'm not worried about the work load. It will be a lot, I know, but it will be nice to be stretching my mind again. But being away from my kids for at least two, if not three, nights extra every week is a very high price to pay. I also feel very, very out of place in college. When I was getting my undergrad degree, I decided to go down the counseling path instead of the planning path because I really had no desire to work with people who had a lot of money and just didn't know what to do with it. I wanted to work with people like my parents, who were middle class and struggled to make every penny count. I wanted to make life better for people who were trying to figure out how to send their kids to college and still save for retirement and still take a vacation once a year. It wasn't a popular path, especially with some of the faculty, but I had a good, strong group of friends who went down this path with me. So now, starting back in grad school, I am going back to become a professional financial counselor. I don't fit in anywhere. I will only be taking 12 hours out of each of the three areas of study I have chosen for my interdisciplinary masters, so that really doesn't give me time to get to know anyone very well. I was not prepared for what a lonely journey this is going to be. That brings me back to the question I had last night... What am I doing? Is this worth taking two and a half years away from my kids? Can I make it through this time at without a core group of school friends?

Then if I choose not to go to grad school, how will that make me feel about myself and about my kids? There isn't going to be a better to time to go back to school. My kids have lots of activities, but I know it isn't going to slow down until they are both grown and out of the house. It is just going to get worse. But if I don't go, will I have regrets? I really do love financial counseling. I love helping people pull themselves up from their bootstraps and make great decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. But is it worth helping other people at the expense of my kids? Will I resent my kids if I don't go?

I am bawling right now because this has been boiling underneath the surface for a couple of weeks and a here it is all laid out. And I still don't have an answer. I am going to have to give up something really big with either decision. So what am I supposed to do???? Which of these paths do I take? How do I find peace with my decision? I thought once I made the decision to apply to school and once I got in, everything would be peachy keen. So I applied and I got in and it isn't peachy keen. I just don't know what to do. And I don't know how to make this decision.

Tim, as great as he is, doesn't get it. He told me last night that he thinks I am just trying to talk myself out of going to school. That isn't it. It just isn't that simple. Maybe it's a gender difference thing. I don't know. It seems I don't know about a lot of things right now.

Where do I go from here? I just keep going, I guess. I have no idea what decision I will make. The planner in me is not happy about that. I'm scared to make the wrong decision. I am scared to not make a decision. But God doesn't want me to live life like a scaredy cat, so I will make decision. I just don't know how or when.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A week? Really?

I really can't believe that it has been a week since I blogged. I have been super busy so I figured I must have blogged somewhere in that craziness, but, alas, I did not. I know you have been glued to your seats just waiting for my next brilliant post, so here it is! You can breathe now! ;)

First of all, Lara Hunt, if you are reading this, I hope it is from the hospital. I pray for you a quick and painless delivery. :D Love you, girly!!

So last week was wild and crazy, but very excellent. I did all the things I listed plus I got to help Anjelica start planning her wedding. Tim is going to be a groomsman and Kami is going to be the flower girl. They asked if Taylor might want to be the ring bearer, but that ain't happenin'! That kid has some major stage fright issues!! Plus he doesn't like people he doesn't know staring at him. Kami, on the other hand, LOVES the spotlight. She will get to wear a pretty dress, get her hair, nails and make-up done (tastefully, of course), and have the attention of the entire guest list. It will be her own little slice of heaven!

Today has already NOT gone as planned, but that is life, right? Taylor is at home sick today so I am feeling the pressure to get all my running around done. I think I will call my mom and see if she can come watch him so I can get to CVS, Walgreens, United, Wal-Mart, Red & Black College Bookstore, and there is another store that I can not remember. I remember that I really needed to go there, but can't remember why! UGH! Hopefully it will come to me soon. Anyway, you can see why I don't want to drag a 3 year old around town with me, right? Especially a sick 3 year old!

Even though my schedule changed this morning (I didn't take Kami and Taylor to school and go run errands), I am still a mom and a wife and there are always things to do. Lots and lots and lots of laundry to do. Plus, last night I got really irritated with Kami. I was pulling clothes out of her drawers for approval for school today. She complained about ev.ery.thing. She is going to make me completely nutty!!! So I overreacted just a bit (shocking, I know) and took all the clothes out of her drawers and put them on the couch. Now I am going to go through all those clothes and sort out which ones she will wear and which ones she won't. I'm guessing there will be about 1/2 the clothes in her drawers from now on. And if she doesn't like that she only has 3 shirts and 2 pairs of leggings to choose from every day, then perhaps she will stop complaining about all her other clothes. Then again, I may end up doing her laundry 3 times a week because she only wants to wear those 3 shirts and 2 pairs of leggings!

My meal plan is a bit late this week, but here it is at any rate:
Tuesday: veggie soup from the freezer, bread
Wednesday: Sonic (busy, busy, busy night!!)
Thursday: lasagna, salad
Friday: pork chops, roasted veggies
Saturday: Italian chicken

So I'm off to tackle the mountains of laundry in my living room floor. Have a great rest of the week!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Whew! I survived Monday!

I was a very busy girl yesterday and have been today, too. It feels good, though. I feel accomplished, or something. ;) Yesterday I finished everything on my To-Do List. I finished almost all of the laundry and have one load of towels left to do. Seeing as how I started with 10 or 11 loads of laundry, I can take that. I didn't do laundry for two weeks. (hanging my head in shame) I started dinner right after lunch and even with a few hiccups (steaks didn't finish cooking in the oven as fast as I thought they would, and the milk had soured so I made fried potatoes instead of mashed) I got my family fed. Well, most of the the family. Taylor was being a punk last night, so he didn't eat. His choice, not a punishment, by the way. I made lunches, I read, I walked, and I crashed. LOL! I was tired by the end of the night!

Today I have taken the kids to their respective schools, gone to Walgreen's, CVS, Target and United. I still have to put most of the groceries away, but at least they are in the house. ;) I have to share my good deals!!

Walgreen's: I bought a Lysol no-touch soap dispenser starter kit that was on sale, used a $3 coupon and got $7 back in Register Rewards. So the next time I shop at Walgreens, I will have paid $.99 (plus tax) for that dispenser! How cool is that?? And milk was on sale there for $2.99 a gallon.

CVS: I had a $1.00 off 2 Ziploc sandwich bags and they were on sale for 2/$5 with $1 back in Extra Bucks. Oh, and I got $.50 in Extra Bucks when I scanned my card there. The boxes of 100 each had 20 extra bags, so they were 120 count. They next time I go and use my EB will have ended up getting 240 Ziploc sandwich bags for $2.79 (including tax)!

Target: Yeah, so I ALWAYS buy more than I need at Target. It's a sickness. LOL! I went there for yogurt and spent $40 something on other random stuff. I checked the Dollar Spot because I have no will-power when it comes to the Dollar Spot. I found some cute silicon heart ice cube trays or candy molds or whatever they are. I am going to use them to make crayons for my kids to give away at Valentine's Day. Then I did get the yogurt that was 10 for $5. I had a coupon for some amount off of 6, but I decided to save it for a time when yogurt wasn't on sale.... Or at least that is what I told myself in the check-out line when I realized I left my coupon in the car. :D Oh, I got Bubba a Batman backpack for less than $12. He has a man-sized backpack that he can barely carry and I don't want to spend $40 on a new backpack for grad school, so he gets a Batman one and I get his. Pens were another random thing I bought. I was going to go to Staples since they are having a BOGO free sale on pens, but the thought of going to one more store made me want to cry, so I just picked some up at Target. I almost forgot!! I got Annie's Cheddar Bunnies for $1.99! They are usually $3.99 at United so I was totally pumped! I also got some other random snacks and then decided I had better get the heck out of there!!!!

United: Hmmm. I just got boring stuff at United. The only really good deal I got was on Lunchables. My kids love those things even though I think they are kind of gross. So every once in a while they each get to take one to school. I don't even know how much they usually cost because I buy them regardless, but they were on sale for 2 for $5. So a lunch of turkey, cheese, bread (Taylor will only eat the kind with bread, not the kind with crackers), applesauce, Nilla wafers and a little bottle of water for $2.50 is ok in my book!

Before I pick up the kids, I want to get my Bible read and write in my journal and take a bubble bath and eat bon bons. Ok so those last two are not gonna happen, but the other things will. I think I will wrap up in a warm blanket (because it is C-O-L-D, cold today!!) and make some coffee and read my Bible (though, perhaps I should make coffee before wrapping up in a blanket or there might be a big mess to clean up). Sounds like the perfect afternoon activity!

Let me just leave you with this picture of happiness:
A large Sonic cup filled with Dr. Pepper. *sigh*

Monday, January 10, 2011

Editing the meal plan

I know no one is reading this but this is just a good place for me to keep my meal plan. ;)

Monday--steak, potatoes and corn
Wed--chicken nachos
Thursday--pork chops
Sat--roast beef sandwiches
Sun--leftovers or sandwiches or out

Weekends and failed commitments

Why is it so hard for me to stay on track with my life on the weekends? Tim is home so that should make it easier, right? I didn't read my Bible for a few days and didn't write in my journal. I didn't finish the laundry. I didn't make my meal plan and goals for this week yesterday as I had planned to. Yikes! I'm beginning to sound like a very lazy person!

This week, there is no time for lazing around (is that a word??)! I have a full week.
Monday (that would be today): Finish laundry, create meal plan, prep at least 2 meals for later this week, walk on Wii or treadmill 30 min
Tuesday: Get kids to school, grocery store, Walgreens, CVS, prep another couple of meals, Kami's dance at 4:15 and Tim will meet me there and we will exchange cars and kids, then I head to TTU to sit in on Intro to Financial Planning class.
Wednesday: Taylor has Gymnastics in the morning, walk for 30 min need to clean a bathroom or two, Kami's dance again, Bible class
Thursday: Kids to school, meet with accountability partner, get my hair cut, sit in on Financial Counseling class at TTU
Friday: clean house like a crazy person, walk 30 min, in-laws coming that evening
Saturday: finish lesson plans for Bible class
Sunday: teach Bible class, worship, finish cleaning house, set goals for the week, meal plan, small group meets at our house

Yeah, so I need to get going.

Goals: in addition to last weeks goals, I am adding in walking for 30 min, 3 times this week.
Bible Reading: read 1 Psalm a day and journal, get back on track with 90-day plan
Meal Plan:
Monday-pork chops and corn
Tuesday-pasta and salad
Wednesday-roast beef sandwiches and carrots
Thursday-chicken nachos
Saturday-leftovers or sandwiches
Sunday-leftovers or sandwiches or out

Oh yes, and pictures. I didn't take any on Friday or Saturday. But I'm just going to mark those days off and keep going.
Yesterday, after a few days of agonizing over which dates and how many points to use, I booked our reservation at Saratoga Springs!

And this is Kami today before school.

Have a good Monday!

Friday, January 7, 2011

A good day

Yesterday was a good day. Both kids were in school and I spent the majority of my day with my friend. We had breakfast at Fuzzy's Taco Shop, we went to visit another friend, then we went to buy journals and Starbucks at Barnes & Noble. It was a good day. :) Being a friend is one of the most important roles I have and I think I often forget that. Sometimes my friends take a back burner to my kids and my husband and my crazy life. But in reality, they should be right in the mix because I have some wonderful women in my life!!

I have taken a picture every day, it is just trying to find the time to blog and post it here! Here is yesterday's picture:

Andy and Anjelica flew home from Vegas last night so we went out to eat at Olive Garden. Yes, that means I broke my meal plan. On one hand that is frustrating, on the other, much larger hand (tee hee, that's a funny mental picture, isn't it?), Tim's little brother only gets engaged once and we had to celebrate!

I am almost positive I got all my water in yesterday. I have to keep better track of that! Tonight for dinner we will be having chicken fajitas with Rosa's tortillas. Is there anything better than Rosa's tortillas?? I think not. I did eat breakfast within 30 min of waking up the last few days. Yay, me! ;) I have been saving my Bible reading until the end of the day. That just doesn't work. I am so tired by then that I have been going to bed at 9:00 p.m. Why yes, I am an old lady, thanks for asking. So I need to find a better system. Because now, I need to read two days worth of scripture. Doesn't sound like a lot, but I need to read Ex. 15:19 to 40:38. Kind of daunting. LOL!

I had to stop typing for a few minutes so that I could transform a Transformer from robot to hellicopter. Well, I thought it was going to be a few minutes. It turned into 20 min! I need a Transformers For Dummies book because those things are way out of my realm. Let me French braid hair on a batallion of Barbie's and I'm good to go, but those GI Joe and Transformers are just a little more than I can handle. ;)

I hope you have had a wonderful week! It's Friday, so if anyone is actually reading this, you should tell me your weekend plans. :D

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Two, two, two posts in one!

In my defense, I thought I posted this last night so it really is only one day behind and not two, right??

I know that is a dumb title, but it is mostly accurate. ;) Here is what I would have written had I posted two days ago:

I took Taylor to Sonshine PreSchool today and he was not at all happy about it. Today was the first day that I was not working there this year and he screamed and cried and had to pried off my body. I worried about him all day, but of course, when I picked him up, they said he had a great day after he stopped the crying. Go figure.

Kami and I had our girl's day and it was fabulous! After we dropped off Taylor, we came home and I painted her nails and fixed her hair. We went to lunch at Grany Katz' tea room inside KK's Craft Mall. She loves eating there and it is very girly, so it was perfect. ;) Then we headed over to Barnes and Noble and hung out for a bit before going to Bath and Body Works. They were having their Semi-Annual Sale so we loaded up. It was so fun just going around opening all the bottles up and letting her smell everything. Very girly and something Tim just doesn't get. LOL! So it's nice to have a companion now!

OH!! Speaking of companions!! I'm getting a sister!! YIPPEE!! My BIL, Andy, proposed to his GF, Anjelica in Vegas at a magic show. It was all very romantic and the ring is a knock-out! I can't wait to see it in person!

Back to my post...So while we were at BBW we ran into Denae and got to see her adorable boys, Will and Reed. Denae is an amazing photographer, so if you need any pics done, check her out!

After we dropped our purchases off at home and picked up a few essentials (like blankies and pillows) we went to pick up Taylor from school. It was so nice to go in and not have any responsibilities except to my own kid. Freeing, actually! And I got to chat with my friend, Julie! She is one of the most talented people I know and makes me laugh so freakin' hard whenever we are together. Her etsy store is Sew Julie and she has some great stuff!! You can also find her on Facebook.

We played with Julie, Topper and Madeline for a bit and then headed out to Slaton to see Granny and Papa. My mom requested that I bring my camera to take pics of her house for some relatives that live in Ohio because they had never seen it and wanted to. And that leads me to the 365 pic for today. Taylor was climbing in the fort, or house as he calls it, and requested that I take his picture. So, I did.

Then I left the kids there and came home and made dinner for Tim and me. Pork chops and veggies. It was quite tasty! And since we were childless we went to Cheddar's for a cookie monster. That was soooo yummy!!!! Not exactly diet friendly, but on the other hand, we didn't eat dinner there, which is what we normally would have done since we didn't have the kids. Baby steps! ;)

As for my goals, most of them didn't get met. I should be upset about this, but I'm not because I had an amazing day with Kami. I need to read double for Wednesday, but Taylor has gymnastics so that shouldn't be a problem.

Now for today's post! :D

Monday, January 3, 2011

Monday is Laundry Day, or not

First, my 365 pic:

Chicken spaghetti leftovers. YUM!

Here is the recipe, if you are interested:

Chicken Spaghetti

12 oz spaghetti
2T unsalted butter
1/4 cup minced onion
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 small carton of sour cream
1/c cup water
1/4 cup chopped black olives
1 13 oz can chicken*
Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook spaghetti according to package directions. Saute garlic and onion in butter. Add remaining ingredients. Heat thoroughly. Add to drained spaghetti and mix well. Pour into greased 9x13 dish. Sprinkle with cheese. Bake for 20-30 minutes or until bubbly. Let set 10-15 min before serving.

*I used my Good Grips chopper to mince the onion, garlic and chop the olives. Since I already had it out, I chopped up the chicken a little more, too. I liked it much better this way!

We had salad, and cresent rolls with the spaghetti. It was a great meal! I was very proud of myself. ;) For desert I am having a cup of decaf coffee with fat free Vanilla Caramel creamer. MMMMMM.

I kept to my goals today. Yay for me! I also went to the grocery store without my kids today. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love having my parents nearby. Not only because they are close and we can see them all the time, but my mom is freakin' amazing and watches them while I make Wal-Mart and grocery runs! I can get out of the store so much faster without answering 3,000 questions from Taylor about things that have nothing to do with anything at the grocery store. You would think that the boy is never around me so finds that the only time he can ask these all important questions are while I am trying to figure out which if the bread that is cheaper and tastes better is really worth it because it has three grams less of fiber. And Kami complains the entire time she is at any store because she is too big to sit in the front seat of the basket but really still too little to walk Wal-Mart or Market Street. So it is such a treat to not have to take either one of them with me to the store! Does that make me a bad mother? Hmm. Point to ponder.

I was going to do laundry, but got lazy and didn't do it. I didn't do laundry until the latter part of the week last week, so I am really not due to do laundry again yet, but Monday is Laundry Day. I guess Wednesday will be Laundry Day this week because Kami and I are having a girl's day tomorrow while Taylor is in school.

I hope your Monday was productive and bearable. ;)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Some successes and a fail

Successes first:
I ate breakfast yesterday, I drank 84 oz of water and made my meal plan and I read my Bible.

It's only day 2 and I skipped breakfast this morning. I am going to have to work that into my morning routine! I'm just not used to doing that so it will take some effort.

I taught Bible class this morning and then came home. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't feeling well. Perhaps it was because I didn't eat breakfast. Hmmm. Anyhoo, Kami is still getting over pneumonia so she had to stay home and Taylor cried when he found out she wasn't going but he was. "I want to stay with her! I love her! Please don't make me go!" I selfishly let him stay home because I wasn't up to the battle that I knew would ensue if I took him. When I came home the two of them were throwing plastic sticks at each other. Lovely. Fortunately they didn't break anything or themselves so no harm no foul, I guess.

I am freezing today!!! I got cold outside and can't get warm up. I think I need to move to Hawaii or something. ;) Honey, what do you think??

My 356 pic is of something that has been happening at our house every four hours for the last week. I think we are going to move to every six hours today because she is doing much better. YAY!!

If you know me at all you know I loooooove Dr Pepper. My friend Norah just posted a recipe for DP glazed ham on her food blog. Sounds delish! You can click on her blog on the side bar of this blog if you want to find the recipe!
Have a great week!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year, New Post

So it has been awhile since I actually updated this thing. I figure today is as good as any! There are a few things I want to start today seeing as how it's the new year and all. First, I have got to get healthy. My kids are too important for me not to be healthy!!! Another thing I want to start is the 365 Project. Lastly, and most definitely most important is that I would like to read through the Bible at least two times this year.

So the health issue. I'm fat and I hate it, but I am the only one who can change it. I need goals and not just long term "I want to be a size 6" goals. I mean weekly, and even daily goals. This seems a good a format as any to make those goals public and try to keep myself accountable. This week I have 4 goals:
1. Make a meal plan for every night.
2. Stick to the meal plan!!!
3. Eat breakfast within 30 min of waking up every day.
4. Drink 64 oz of water each day.
I'll come back and post my meal plan for next week later today. And I did eat breakfast today.

The 365 project is taking a picture of your life every day and sharing it. Here is mine for today:
I took the ornaments off the tree today. :)

I am going to use the 90-day plan to read through the Bible. Today is Gen 1:1 to 16:16. The only way to get closer to God and have a stronger relationship with Him is through reading and understanding the Bible.

So let's get started!!!!!! Happy 2011 everyone!!!!

ETA:Meal Plan
Sunday-eat out for small group
Monday-Chicken spaghetti, salad, bread
Tuesday-grilled pork chops, roasted veggie mix
Wednesday-leftovers or sandwiches
Thursday-chicken fajitas, guacamole
Friday-meatballs for kids and cashew chicken for adults
Saturday-eat out or leftovers